I’m excited to be part of this project with some really great moms! Please stay tuned for future episodes of Mom’s the Word.*
*Not actually endorsed by/associated with Ragu
Max’s Twitter experiment today got me thinking about a world where people could assume other people’s online identities whenever they wanted to. Would it be a utopia or an insane troll hell?
So I made a twitter account that anyone can use whenever they want: @anyonetweets The password is letmetweet. Please don’t change the password; and I don’t even know what will happen if/when two people try to log in at the same time. Let’s see what happens.
update: that was pretty fun, for about 1/2 hour, before it got put in Twitter jail, then deleted somehow. I’d say it was maybe 20% mean things about me, 20% casual racism, 10% about Gillian Anderson and 50% dick jokes.
RIP @anyonetweets
I have a cadre of Russians, so I briefed one contact on Adrian Chen’s @Horse_ebooks offer, thinking she’d put me in contact with someone grateful for an easy opportunity to make some money. I was told off instead:
Um, plenty of people could make it happen, but that address won’t lead to shit.
I thought you were using the IP address or whatnots to track him. NO ONE EVER PROVIDES THEIR REAL RUSSIAN ADDRESS ONLINE. In Russia, you still have to be registered to live in any given apartment (that is, you have to apply and have the government’s permission to live there.) No one does this. No one. Everyone just buys fake registration somewhere, and lives wherever they want. However, you do not want to be traced reporting an address that conflicts with the one on your registration.
Secondly, Ulitsa Lenina and Ulitsa Karla Marxa were arbitrarily assigned to the major cross-streets of any Soviet city. Saying you live on Lenina street is like saying you live on Main Street.
Oh, and “Kuznetsov” literally and figuratively means “Smith.”
So, basically you are looking for Joe Smith who lives on 11 Main Street, Moscow…
Sounds like an entirely genuine name for a spammer.So, unfortunately, the lead’s a dead-end.
Abort mission. I’m not giving up on the identity of Horse_ebooks, but it looks like this isn’t going to go anywhere. Hold on, lemme think.
My original Horse_ebooks offer has been sweetened considerably. Internet comedy person Jake Fogelnest and the originalhorse_ebooks journalist John Hermann have each offered to kick in $50. Rachel Fershleiser has offered $10. So, that makes $160 simply for knocking on the door at 11 lenina street in Moscow.
As an added bonus, you will be helping defeat the ANTI-TRUTH BIGOTS who are trying to protect Horse_ebooks’ identity:
What are they trying to hide? Email me: adrian802@gmail.com or Twitter: @adrianchen
Like thousands of people who spend too much time the internet, I’ve become strangely obsessed with the mysterious spam Twitter bot @Horse_ebooks. Not much is known about Horse_ebooks, though it appears to be part of a network of spam accounts promoting dumb ebooks.
Thing is, I really want to know about the person behind Horse_ebooks. As John Hermann explains in his great article about the Horse_ebooks phenomenon, the Twitter account points to a barebones ebook retailer, horse-ebooks.com. This is one of about 170 domains registered to some Russian guy named Alexei Kouznetsov. Kouznetsov’s address, according to the whois record, is:
Alexei Kouznetsov Kouznetsov
Lenina 11
Moskow, 100100
Russian Federation
(Here is his address on Google maps.)
So here’s my offer: I’ll pay someone $50 (1597 rubles) UPDATE: $160 to go knock on the door at Lenina 11 and report to me what you find there. If you actually discover the truth about horse_ebooks and Alexei Kouznetsov through this visit I’ll give you another $25. Does Alexi exist? Is he aware of the sensation horse_ebooks has become? Is he really making money from this bullshit?
Happy Halloween! I made this silly video about America’s Most Haunted House with my good friend dalas verdugo back in 2008 when I lived in a huge group house in Portland, OR.
1st Precinct Community Affairs Detective Rick Lee is Hipster Cop. And Gothamist has the new Hipster Cop details Tumblr so desperately needs. Including:
Lee’s single, although it is unknown if he is “ready to mingle.”
He’s been a cop for close to 20 years, and his father was a member of the FDNY.
He likes both Coldplay AND Radiohead!
He’s actually been called “hipster cop” for years—the nickname originated with someone at the mayor’s office who was directing someone to Lee by saying, “Oh you’ll recognize him, he’s the hipster cop.”
His eyeglasses are actually Ray Ban sunglasses for J Crew which he modified by popping the tinted lenses out and putting in his own prescription. How DIY is that?!
This is Rick, the NYPD “Hipster Cop.” I briefly met this guy while reporting on the Occupy Wall Street Radiohead concert that never happened. He was standing next to the Occupy Wall Street spokesman who had told me over and over that day that Radiohead would definitely be playing no matter what their publicist said, just come down.
When I met him, Hipster Cop was wearing a bright red Mister Rogers cardigan and a white button down with a clipped tie, grey wool slacks and spotless oxfords, a smirk on his face. He was the most sharply-dressed guy I had seen pretty much all week, and I work in Soho. Hipster Cop almost looked too well-dressed to be a Radiohead fan; like, maybe he only listened to LPs of obscure Japanese bands from the 80s. But I asked if he was bummed about Radiohead’s no-show: “They’re finished,” he joked. “Nobody’s going to listen to their music anymore.”
But he was a cop! Which I learned when he flashed a badge hooked discreetly onto his belt and shooed away the uniformed officer who eventually came over to move us from the street where we were chatting onto the sidewalk. You could tell she was embarrassed; guess he’s like that cool detective at the police station that nobody wants to talk to about movies or music or anything ‘cause he’ll scoff at them.
Since then, Hipster Cop has become sort of a meme at Occupy Wall Street. This woman even called him “infamous.”
What if all cops looked like this? What if pepper-spray cop Anthony Bologna looked like this? What if, during the 2008 NYC Republican Convention, CNN broadcast live footage of dozens of hipster cops charging through the tear gas behind riot shields with Pavement bumper stickers on them, beating protesters with vintage 1920s nightsticks they picked up at the thrift store, precisely-clipped ties fluttering behind them?
Update: This NYU student, Brett Chamberlain, just tweeted to me that Hipster Cop asked him out to dinner.
No joke he asked me out to dinner. his name is Rick btw. Community affairs / detective with
#NYPD precinct 1. I told him if he saw me in cuffs and let me out I would go to dinner with him. He missed his chance when I got arrested.
I don’t know… It’s almost too good to be true. Gay hipster cop finds love at the anti-capitalist protest? #OccupyMyHeart
(pic via Lucy Kafanov)
Q: What is a computer?
A: A computer is an expensive machine that your grandson forces you to buy in order to make you feel inadequate and scared. Computers have the Internet in them.
Q: How complicated are computers?
A: Computers are the most complicated things ever devised by man. If you don’t instantly know how to use a computer the very first time you sit down at one, you should give up because you will never learn.
Q: Shouldn’t I be embarrassed if I can’t learn how to use a computer?
A: Only poor people with nothing better to do learn how to use computers. There is no shame in not knowing how to use a computer. FDR never used a computer.
Q: What are computers used for?
A: Computers are used to make people’s lives more difficult. Computers make every task harder, but big corporations like Microsoft have brainwashed the younger generations into thinking they are good by using MTV and The Facebook. Corporations are greedy.
Q: How do I use a computer?
A: You use a computer by pressing random keys on the keyboard while moving the mouse in large circles. Sometimes this does something, but usually your computer just gets a virus. If something is happening on the screen, press CTRL + ALT + DELETE while calling your grandson and yelling at him.
Q: What is a computer virus?
A: Everything that does anything on your computer is a virus. When your computer starts up, many viruses are turned on. One virus that you may see is called “Windows XP”. Another popular virus is “Microsoft Word.” “Email” is another. These are all bad viruses that will break your computer instantly. You should call up your grandson whenever you see them and tell him very loudly to take the viruses off.
Q: What is the Internet?
A: The Internet is a place in California where all the computer viruses come from. Avoid it at all costs.
Q: How do I download files from the Internet?
A: You should never download files from the Internet, because they are all viruses. Everything on the Internet is a virus. If you download a file from the Internet accidentally, you should call your grandson and ask him if you have virus. He will say “No,” but this is just a test to see if you are persistent enough to call and ask him eight more times.
Q: How do viruses enter my computer?
A: Viruses get onto your computer through the Internet. The Internet gets into your computer through the plugs that are in the back. In order to keep viruses off your computer, make sure everything is unplugged before you turn it on.
Q: Why won’t my computer turn on?
A: Your computer has a virus. Call your grandson and yell at him.
I wrote this piece a couple years ago for the comedy newspaper I started in college. They just reprinted it in their “best-of” issue. So proud!
Saw a lot of buildings today. Ate a Paella. Imagine if Red Lobster did Rice-a-Roni and you get the picture. France tomorrow. They say the prostitutes in France are even taller than Spain’s. We’ll see.
